The Hunger Inside
by Edward-Elric-HaganeNo
Summary: It was coming again, she knew it. Every month it was the same thing, as soon as that full moon rose it would take her over again" hope you like it. Its my pride and joy.


The Hunger Inside

By: Carrie Lazarovici

Disclaimer: I do not own the Inuyasha Characters. I DO own Shanasha who I created back in 2003.

I also do not own the Song "Lies" nor do I own Evanescence

(A/N: anytime you see '_italics_' it is a thought) 

**_Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear  
Sealed with lies through so many tears_**

It was coming again, she knew it. Every month it was the same thing, as soon as that full moon rose it would take her over again. She hated to admit it but she feared it, not the monster itself, but she feared what it made her do. She never shown her fear to her only friends, the only people who stayed with her after finding out. She didn't want to show them any sign of weakness; she always acted calm and ready. She always lied.

**_Lost from within, pursuing the end  
I fight for the chance to be lied to again_**

She hated it, the monster that HE put into her. She only kept going to kill him and the monster with her claws and avenge those consumed by the monster inside. She fought and fought, but always when she thought she would win something would go wrong and he would bring his pet to the surface. She looked out the window of a hut she had grown used to being in. '_its almost time…_' She didn't look at the older demon sitting across from her; he never abandoned her as she never abandoned him or the others. They were all she had, the only family she had left, the only friends she'd ever known. He was like a brother too her, though she never said it. '_Without me though, I wonder if he'd be alive at the moment. The idiot's gotten himself into so much that I had to save him he's such a reckless…_' She stopped herself, knowing that she wouldn't be alive on many an occasion if he wasn't there.

She could hear the old priestess telling her that it was nearly time, but she knew that very well. She could feel it trying to get out, trying to consume her mind. Without a word, the fox stood up and walked outside and kept walking and walking. She decided to pick up speed to find as remote a place as she good and ran, a tornado forming behind her due to her speed. '_Unlike that Bastard Kouga, I don't cheat._'

**_You will never be strong enough  
You will never be good enough_**

She could just hear him in her mind, the one who let the monster loose. Telling her she will never be strong enough to beat him never be good enough to win back her freedom from his creation. Never be able to overcome her fear, and never be able to avenge her own family, who fell victim to the monsters first feeding. She tried to block it out, to ignore it. But it nagged at her, and this wasn't the first time either. It nagged her during the day, kept her awake at night. Haunting her rarely caught sleep with visions of the massacres the monster had caused. It was always the same dream, its victims begging for mercy, while she watched as the monster slaughtered them without a second thought, yes she watched but always from afar. She never could get close enough to stop it, not even when the victims were her own family members. It haunted her constantly.

**_You were never conceived in love  
You will not rise above_**

The only ones to ever stick by her was that group, they never abandoned her. They believed in her, reminding her that she will be able to overcome it. That she can win. She would always thank them and smirk but inside she was angry, angry at herself for constantly lying about how she felt. She couldn't beat it, and that's why it hurt.

**_They'll never see  
I'll never be_**

'_Don't they understand? I may be strong but this thing is stronger!_' She growled, they say they understand but they don't. Even the hanyou, sure he had a similar case but he still was strong enough to stop himself from hurting close ones, but she was different. She lived as an orphan ever since the monster was created. It killed her family; she lived alone her whole life. She never had that kind of love to help her. Now she does, but the images still haunt her, and weigh her down. No, they'll never understand, none of them can. They didn't see what she had seen.

**_I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me_**

She jerked as the moonlight surrounded her, her vision blurred and she started to see red. It has come. The monster was awaking again, ready to feed its dark evil hunger. It burned inside her, writhing and clawing to the surface as she plunged into darkness, a cold, barren, lonely darkness. She tried to fight it, like she did every time, but it was just too strong. It smiled sadistically flashing its fangs, fangs longing to steep in the blood of anything and anyone that crossed its path. She screamed inside as the darkness moved to flood her eyes and heart. Her mind was already starting to go numb. She couldn't fight it. She never could. She can't win.

The monster had won. It took control once again and started to feed its hunger. All she could see was blood; all she could hear was screams. Many different kinds, screams of despair, screams of pain, screams of fear, pleading screams, and screams of helplessness. They imprinted themselves in her soul forever, amongst the thousands of others already taken by the monster. It went on for what seemed like an eternity, scream after scream, body after body, the taste and smell of blood and tears surrounded her every move. She prayed for the monster to weaken, she prayed for it to go back into hiding. For that was all she could do, pray, and wait while the monster killed and killed again.

**_But through my tears breaks a blinding light  
Birthing a dawn to this endless night_**

She could see a faint light; she knew it was almost time for the monster to sleep once more. She didn't have to wait much longer. She had lost count of how many screams she heard this time, but her heart ached, her head throbbed, thoughts raced, and her senses were overwhelmed with blood. Rivers of it, human, animal, and demon alike. All mixed together swirling around her as if saying 'its not over yet'.

**_Arms outstretched, awaiting me  
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree_**

Soon, her prayers were answered. A light, a warming comforting light stretched across the land. She could feel the monster being forced back into hiding. She saw it grin at her, its once white fangs stained a deep red from its night of feeding, she could hear it laughing at her, taunting her. When she finally opened her eyes and gained control once more, she held out a bloody, clawed hand out towards the sun. Every inch of her was soaked in blood; it stung her nose, making her queasy. Her legs shook beneath her, her whole body ached, but the pain she felt on her body was nothing compared to the pain in her heart as she slowly buried the bodies around her. When se was finally finished she dropped to the ground and leaned against a tree trunk, looking up at the sun drained and aching as the sounds of the just defeated night played over and over in her mind. She closed her eyes and exhaled in pain.

**_Rest in me and I'll comfort you  
I have lived and I died for you_**

She wanted to die, but knew she couldn't. She had to beat this, as much as she knew she couldn't yet, she had to try. She owed it to these victims and the thousands before them. Including her own family. '_Dammit, I'll take him down…no matter what._' Yes, him. The source of it all, the sole being she hated with more than just every fiber of her being, she hated him with every fiber of her mind body and spirit too. She will take him down, and the monster with him. Then, and only then, can she truly be strong. Only then will she be freed. The thought of finally killing him, even if she died afterwards, just that thought comforted her after these nights.

**_Abide in me and I vow to you  
I will never forsake you_**

She sat there under that tree, smeared with blood, some of it dry some of it still wet. She couldn't find any part of her that wasn't bloody, she was used to blood. She was a demon, she fought, and she killed. But it was the overwhelming amount of it that sickened her. Demon, animal, young and old, human, even human children, all mixed in together. She didn't open her eyes, she just sat there letting every dark memory she had of the monsters hunger driven killing play in her mind. Every one of those faces, every one of those screams, every single bit of pain played like a fantasy in her minds eye. She never forgot those images, never forgot a scream, a face, a scent or a plea. They burned themselves forever in her heart and soul. They haunt her, taunt her weakness, play with her emotions, and chisel at her strength. No, they never left. Nor did she want them to. She couldn't forget, no, she _wouldn't _forget. Every memory, every month, they added to her already enormous fire of rage she held in her heart for that one being that did this. That one man who cursed her with this monster, who turned her against her family. Each new piece of kindling added to that flame drives her, keeps her going for her goal. To kill him. To avenge them. To save anyone else from the monster she's burdened with in the future.

A wind picked up, and she thought she smelled her family, and the many other victims long gone. She opened her eyes, her crystal blue eyes held a blazing fire in them. A fire of rage, a firm gaze, a strong one. "I am going to kill him" She said, her words were brave and sure. "I'm going to kill him, and avenge them. That, is my everlasting vow. It's the only thing I can possibly do for them all." She looked up to the heavens. '_Yes. It's the only thing left I can do…Enjoy your life while you can Naraku, its going to be short lived_' She stood up and held her hand up to the sun clenching it into a fist. She brought it to her body and smirked. "I'm coming for you.."


End file.
